Medical and Weight Updates

Posted on June 29, 2011 by Girl with Guitar

So I haven’t done an actual medical update since March when I was having those scary “female” problems. Sorry about that.

To update on the scary stuff:
I went to an OB/GYN for the first time since highschool and she looked over my transvaginal ultrasound and pelvis ultrasounds. She agreed with me that it was likely just an issue due to the rapid weight-loss since burning fat creates estrogen and I was on overload. She told me to have the ultrasounds done again in two weeks, which I did. She never gave me the results, but when I went to her for a check-up afterwards I asked her and she said she would have called me if something was wrong.

Honestly that doesn’t really sit well with me. I kinda want to know the results. Or at least have my hormone levels checked. I will have to set aside time to talk to my GP or the OB/GYN again to see what we can find out.

She did finally get me on birth control in May though, which cost me $717 after insurance (yay HSA’s!). I got the Mirena IUD, and have been told it’s fairly painful to put in, especially if you’ve never given birth. Well let me just state that “fairly painful” is an understatement. It was VERY painful, but I got through it, and it’s good for 5 years.

I’ve been a little worried about side effects of Mirena, such as depression and hair-loss, but so far I think I am okay. I have been depressed, but I honestly don’t think that’s the Mirena cause I was depressed before I had that put in. 6 weeks in and no major side effects yet.

Now I just need another opportunity to put the birth control to good use!

Anyway…

I went to get my 8-month weigh-in today, and I have officially lost 51% of my excess weight. I wanted this to be the case 2 months ago, so while yes I am at a huge milestone, I sorta want to start pushing things a little harder. I do exercise, not as much as I would like, but I do. So I will work on that. And my food intake is fairly good, though I have been above my recommended carb intake lately. Who knew so many fresh fruits had so many carbs 😡 My poor fresh cherry addiction :(

My BMI is now 43 whereas I started out at 65. I am wearing a size 24 pants, whereas I started out at probably a 32.

So I am doing well, feeling great, looking loads better, and really really REALLY wanting to be successful with this. I want to get down to under 200 pounds, preferably at 170 for my height. I have a long way to go yet, but I am more than half-way there, and that’s what I have to keep telling myself.

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A Medical Scare

Posted on March 7, 2011 by Girl with Guitar

So I had posted on facebook last week about how I was having a medical scare.  I had an emergency appointment with my brand new General Practictioner Friday, who ordered tests this morning.  This is a sensitive and rather explicit woman issue, so I am placing the rest behind a cut to save anyone any discomfort from reading 😛

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3 Month Post-Op and Some Product Reviews

Posted on February 16, 2011 by Girl with Guitar

I had my 3-month post-op appointment Friday morning, where I have officially lost 29% of my excess weight.  I was aiming for 25% at the 3 month mark (and secretly hoping for 30%), so I did really well.

My problem is I now want to lose 51% by April 1st for my trip to Texas, and -that- is going to be difficult.  REALLY difficult, but I am going to give it my best shot.  Technically you don’t lose 50% till your six month mark which won’t be until the END of April, so I’ll be close if nothing else.  Still, gonna push hard.

I don’t go back for another 3 months, but I am likely going to stop by the doctors office once a month for a weigh-in for myself.

Now I’ve also been trying out lots of new products and things that I wanted to share my take on for some of my bariatric friends/family, as well as anyone else who just wants to eat better.

Protein Powder
Being an “early-out” post-op bariatric, you have to make sure you are getting plenty of protein.  Not only does this help heal your surgical wounds, but it also helps prevent you from losing too much muscle mass while you’re losing so much weight, among the other benefits of a protein-rich diet.

Unfortunately most protein powders taste awful.  I struggled quite a bit for weeks trying to find one that was palatable and affordable.  I tried Designer Whey from my local grocery, but it was awful, even at a cheap price.  I tried Max Protein at the recommendation from a very popular bariatric blogger who swears upon it, it tasted okay but was $60 a pound.

My cousin had me try a kind she found at Wal-Mart called Body Fortress.  It was actually pretty good and I found out it’s less than $20 for 2 pounds.  It comes in different flavors such as chocolate or chocolate peanut butter, easily accessible (Wal-Mart, hello?  I order from amazon.com though), and cheap!  Plus it has a high whey protein content (26 grams per scoop).

I heat up an 8oz glass of milk and add a scoop to that.  I find warm fluids are easier to mix protein powders in than cold, or you could use a blender to try and blend it well with a cold drink.

Protein Snacks
People like to munch, but the problem with munching after surgery, is anything you put in your mouth that is not protein, takes away from your available time/space to get protein in later in the day.  We have to focus on getting protein in first before we can snack on anything at all.

At the same time, it’s nice to have things like nuts and crunchy things to snack on at work.  Two of my current favorites are Kay’s Naturals Chili Nacho Protein Chips and Emerald Cocoa Almonds.  The chili nacho chips had a small after-taste at first, but they were so good I stopped noticing it.

You have to be careful about the almonds because they are high calorie and good fats, but still a very tasty treat, especially if you have a chocolate craving :)

Protein Bars
Another thing I wanted to try to curb chocolate cravings, was some of the chocolate protein bars on the market.  Chocolite Chocolate Turtle bar is the first one I’ve tried, and I actually really like it a lot.  It’s very chewy, and feels like I’m eating a regular chocolate bar (chewy chocolates are my favorite).  It’s not as great as a Snickers, but I tell you what, at 9g protein and only 115 calories per bar with 1g sugar, I don’t miss the Snickers one bit.

Protein Bread
One of the downfalls of bariatric surgery is not only having to seriously watch carb intake, but also the fact that we can’t really eat breads and pastas.  Breads especially because they don’t provide any protein and take up so much space in our tiny pouches that it would prevent us from getting the nutrients we -did- need.

On a whim and a suggestion from another Bariatric blogger, I tried the P28 Protein Bread.  I really wanted to be able to eat a sandwich now and then, or even a grilled cheese.  So I tried my first grilled cheese the day it came in, using low-fat cheese and soy butter, and it was exactly like a regular grilled cheese sandwich.  The only thing I could tell is that the slices were very thick, so I can only do half a sandwich, and somewhat hard to cut (the texture was a little thick, but it still tasted great).  Each slice gives 14 grams of protein, and although it seems pricey to get bread this way, as little as I eat it is worth the cost now.

Protein Cereal
Cereal has always been a staple in my house.  It’s quick, easy (for when you just don’t feel like cooking), and usually sweet.  I have really missed cereal, because most of them have too much sugar and/or have no protein value in them at all, despite the protein from milk.   I ran across Special K Protein Plus cereal, and decided to try it.  It actually doesn’t taste that bad, I guess like your normal wheaties type cereal. I added some fresh blueberries to it for some sweetness, and could only eat half a serving because I felt filled up quickly.  I will probably buy again and try other flavors or sugar-free syrup flavors from Davinci to get different tastes out of it.

I’m looking forward to trying more products out there.  I have some organic Flax Seed Tortilla chips that I’m going to try to make protein/low-carb nachos with, and I’ve already made some home-made mozzarella sticks that were low-carb/low-fat that tasted amazing.  It really is just adjusting what you use to eat meals that you enjoy, as well as portion control and getting in your vital nutrients.  These types of products just make it easier.

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Thoughts on Progress

Posted on January 26, 2011 by Girl with Guitar

I don’t post many pictures, because well obviously I used to hate pictures of myself.  I actually still do, except the rare ones you get that don’t make you look ridiculously fat and ugly (see left).  I also hate it when people post pictures of themselves over and over again, whether it’s because of weight-loss or because they just need that new sexy myspace shot for their facebook default image.  I keep one image on my facebook, because I like it and I see no reason to change it.  It’s one of those onimous ones where people can’t judge me so much (Oh look how fat she’s gotten, oh look she’s going to be one of those people that constantly posts cute pictures of herself).  No thanks.  I have no intentions of becoming one of those people, and don’t expect to post a lot of pictures on facebook at all because no one needs to see me in every vogue pose available, nor am I that narcissistic (I have a cousin on my mothers side that does this almost daily).  I’m going to share pictures with friends once in a while because I’m sorry, but I’m proud of my progress.  And not in a vain “Look at me now” sort of way, but a “This is really working, I’m really going to be healthy again” sort of way.  And there -is- a difference.

At the same time, I -have- to take regular pictures of myself now.  I cannot see the progress in the mirror as much as I’d like, because I see myself every day.  In order to see what changes have been made, I need to see the timeline.  99% of these pictures no one else will ever see but me.  The boyfriend is extremely happy that I am more comfortable sending him pictures now, because despite us talking via webcam frequently, he knows how self-conscience I am.  And things between us have been amazing lately.

This past weekend I took my “3 month post-op” pictures, which are the first ones I’ve taken full-body shots off since 2 days before surgery.  I posted them both in my health blog (privately) and I was amazed.  Actually I was more amazed at how fat my face was pre-op than I was about how much weight I could tell had come off.  Maybe it’s because I never saw it that fat before, but seeing it in comparison to how it is now, I’m very sad.

How I could allow myself to get to that point? I don’t know that I’ll ever really know for sure.  What triggered such massive weight gain?  Some ideas:

  1. My parents divorce when I was 8.  It was a nasty custody battle, much like the one my sister started going through when she was 8.
  2. My husband cheating on me when I was 18
  3. Bad southern-style country eating habits from both sides of the family whom are also mostly obese themselves.
  4. All of the above

People have voiced concern over the drastic measures I’ve taken to correct this by having gastric bypass surgery.  But honestly, there are too many factors for anyone else but myself to make that judgment.  Things like, what potential health problems I could have by being morbidly obese (diabetes is STRONG in my family), my emotional state of mind and self-confidence, my physical pain in my knees from carrying so much weight, my heredity and what I will pass on to my children, being able to take care of my father as he gets older (#1 reason I had the surgery), whether I have the willpower to lose the weight on my own without surgery.  There are so many different things, and they were all important or strong enough for me to completely change my way of life to rectify them.

Yes there may be complications from surgery.  Malnutrition, complications from major surgery, malabsorption, unknown long-term problems, but they are a chance….a risk.  Less of a risk than the guaranteed health problems from being morbidly obese the rest of my life.

So there will be pictures once in a while.  I’m just taking things step by step at this point.

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2 month check-up

Posted on January 7, 2011 by Girl with Guitar

Apparently I forgot to make an update for my 1 month checkup as well. So we’ll combine it all into one :)

My one-month checkup was fine, I didn’t lose as much that month because I was injured, and then I had the filter surgery removal (failure) which meant I had to take it easy for another week and a half anyway. But there was still some weight-loss.

I had a scare in December where I was starting to see signs of malnutrition. I have slowly been improving those and forcing myself to eat and drink more (not easy at all). Some days I hit my 70 grams of protein, some days I don’t. But every day I work on it, hard.

The liquids are improving too. I used to maybe get 2 or 3 8oz glasses a day (I need to get 8), and I think I am averaging 4-6 right now. Still not perfect, but you have to get used to this new regime and how to get everything in all in one day.

I’ve also had a few minor dumping episodes. This is essentially when you eat something either too fast, not chewed well enough, or that has too much fat or sugar. Your body fights back and you have to throw up or deal with a lot of pain. I’ve only had one episode that was particularly painful, and the few others were essentially just me giving in and letting it come back up. I am learning to prevent these as well.

Monday I had my 2 month checkup and I have lost over 60 pounds and dropped 10 points off my BMI. My goal is another 78 pounds by mid-march, and if I am averaging about 20 pounds a month, I think over the next 2 and a half months I can squeeze an additional 18 pounds in there.

My knees hardly hurt at all now, and when I am not sick and actually get my nutrients in I have energy to do things. When I was dealing with malnutrition I had no energy to exercise at all. So I had to take care of that first.

Hell, last night on a whim I decided to rearrange my office some. So I can feel the energy coming back. I just have to keep with it.

I don’t know whether I will be joining a gym yet. I’d like to avoid it, and it would be hard to keep myself motivated at a gym. But it depends on if I find enough physical activity at the house. Obviously I can hike in the woods out back, I have carpet that needs to come up in the office, I have rooms that need painting, I have boxes that need hauling up from the basement, I have wood that needs cut. I have things to keep me occupied and give me plenty of exercise.

I am really excited about the amount of weight I have lost. I am starting to actually see it, as well. I’m constantly feeling my face and neck because of the new angles and bones that feel so foreign to me.

My goal for March is a hefty one, and that’s my biggest focus right now. That and learning new recipes and such to try for dad and I. He’s starting to lose weight as well because he is putting protein powder in a lot of the things he drinks and eats now, so he’s less hungry.

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Filter Removal. Or not.

Posted on November 27, 2010 by Girl with Guitar

Wednesday I had surgery scheduled to have the IVC filter removed that was in place to prevent any bloodclots from going to my lungs and potentially killing me. We showed up at Frederick Memorial pretty early and waited the 2 hours for surgery. I was prepped as usual with IV, pregnancy test, hospital gown etc.

I have to say, that out of this year of experiences I’ve had to go through, and up until now the Sleep Study being the worst, this surgery has topped the charts at the most ridiculous experience of them all. And not because of anything inparticular, just the entire experience and my feelings afterwards.

They wheeled me on the hospital bed into the surgery room, and it was the same gentlemen that put in the filter through my jugular. This time though, in order to take it out they had to go through my groin area. Being overweight, this is traumatic in itself. When you have men sanitizing and shaving an area that is a source of much emotional turmoil because of your weight, it makes the entire ordeal extremely emotional. I was very embarrassed, I was very upset, I might have even been traumatized some I don’t know. Even just typing this out makes me tear up because I really didn’t like the experience at all. After the procedure was done they had to hold the bandage on the artery in my thigh for a good 15 minutes. So again I have a strange man feeling around while I’m entirely exposed and there’s nothing I can do about it. There was another issue that I just can’t bring myself to talk about here, but it was the worst part and something I will never forget.

As for the surgery, they found a blood clot in the filter. This is very upsetting. I am now on blood thinners for the next 6 months and the surgeon ordered a catscan. He, of course, did not tell me what the catscan was for nor the results of it. Hopefully I will find out on Monday.

When getting the catscan, because I had the artery cut in my leg, I was unable to sit up or move for several hours so I had to be lifted into the catscan. That was also not a comfortable experience. Even the “unable to move for several hours” part was painful.

This is the first time I felt like my body let me down. Like I wasn’t superwoman who didn’t need to be on medications and who was in good health. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. At least this is something I might be able to beat. If I can dissolve the blood clot over the next 6 months and no more show up, then the only downfall is I now have to keep the filter in permanently.

I’m not depressed about the clot, more pissed off than anything. I should have beaten this filter.

So I’m physically limited for a few days. No baths for 10 days, I couldn’t shower for two which sucked for Thanksgiving. No heavy lifting, avoid stairs as much as possible, no deep knee bends, etc. I’ll be glad when all this is over so I can focus on eating healthier and exercise.

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Two Appointments and Pureed Foods

Posted on November 11, 2010 by Girl with Guitar

I had two doctors appointments this week, one with my actual gastric surgeon, and one with the surgeon that put the filter in my neck.

Appointment with Gastric Surgeon:
Monday I went for my follow-up for surgery, mainly to see how I’m doing, do another weigh-in, and take off the bandages. I’m glad the bandages were taken off cause the wounds were getting itchy. They still are itchy actually which is getting annoying.

Two of the wounds had slightly blistered, but no infection. The rest looked great, and one was almost completely invisible already.

My weigh-in, I lost another 12 pounds in 10 days since surgery. That has put me now at 14% of my total excess weight gone since August. Still a long ways to go, but that’s 14%! I will probably do updated pictures for myself this weekend since that will officially be the two-week mark.

Right now he still wants me to keep band-aids on the wounds, but I don’t need to for the shower now, which I had to before.

He also said he wanted me to start on pureed foods, so I started them on Monday. My first meal was grits, because it was fast and easy and I so wanted to taste food again. But my official big meal (all 2 oz worth) was a garlic chicken salad that tasted so amazing I can’t even begin to describe. Actually the recipe is really good and I can share if it anyone is interested. Plus it gives good protein.

I also made a bean + cheese + light sour cream mixture with a tiny bit of taco seasoning which was recommended by a bariatric blogger and it was divine as well. I’m big on mexican food so this was a savior. Not as much protein as the chicken salad, but still a small amount of protein, and you can always add unflavored protein to the mix. There’s a nice italian recipe I may try later this week, and I want to try a tuna one today for some added protein.

One thing I am having trouble with is protein shakes. I’m becoming easily turned off by them, even ones I liked only a few days ago. I don’t know if it is the protein powder I am using or what, but I’m having trouble getting the shakes down as palatable. I may try some fruity ones when I get to the grocery store hopefully later today.

TMI Section, you’ve been warned:
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Surviving the Liquid Diet

Posted on November 6, 2010 by Girl with Guitar

I dislike the liquid diet in general, but it’s a necessity. I had been struggling simply because adding unflavored protein powder to all my liquids sucks. It doesn’t make them taste right, and not even always palatable. Unflavored protein to cranberry juice? Blech. And I LOVE cranberry juice (I get Giant brand, diet, 2g sugar per serving).

So I decided to try something else out, as a way to still get my 70+g of protein a day in, and still get all my liquids. I’ve made massively proteined shakes, particularly chocolate and peanut butter ones, which 8oz worth and two scoops of chocolate protein powder plus the peanut butter almost covers my entire protein needs for the day. Plus they taste really good.

Then the rest of the day I can focus on regular liquids without protein powder, and actually enjoy drinking them. This method seems better than trying to put protein into every damn liquid. So long as I make two of the big protein shakes a day, then I can also focus on getting my required 8 8oz glasses of liquids a day (or as much as I can for now), and actually enjoy them.

I can eat jello now too, but you can only eat so much jello.

Next week I should be able to start having pudding and grits and cream of wheat. And then next Friday I’m supposed to start the Pureed stage, and have already picked out this garlic chicken salad that I’m going to have as my first meal. It’s going to be…….awesome.

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Fuck the drama

Posted on November 4, 2010 by Girl with Guitar

So I’m pissed, so I’m gonna rant :)

All week I’ve been focusing on the recovery thing. I have to drink a lot of fluid that is very hard to do right now, like “I want to gag” hard. I have to get up every 15 minutes and walk around to prevent blood clots, which means I don’t get much time to sit around or play on the computer. Which sucks because for a couple days there I was so fatigued from dehydration and lack of protein that just taking a shower exhausted me, so all I wanted to do was rest.

But I am taking in more fluids now (actually got in 48oz worth yesterday, which is epic and hopefully not overdoing it and bursting switches or something, which is apparently fatal), so I am feeling loads better yesterday and today, even though I am already behind today.

I made a post on the Grove forum before surgery that if people wanted to stop by, here’s my address, stop by anytime while I’m off work. A co-worker stopped by Tuesday, my cousin stopped by yesterday, a Grovemate stopped by Sunday. It’s been nice to have company while I’m bored walking and drinking walking and drinking.

But apparently I’ve pissed someone off because I haven’t answered IMs or texts in an appropriate time-frame about whether they can come up or not, that I’m being blasted by them and mutual friends now because of how avoidant and disappointing I am for being so disconnected to the internet and my text messages during recovery. As if the stress of this kind of drama is going to help my current situation in the slightest.

It’s all just jumping to conclusions. If I was avoiding talking to people, I wouldn’t have sent them a thank you text message when I got home from surgery for the flowers they sent to the hospital. My #1 pet peeve in existence is being accused of something falsely. I can understand other people going through a hard time as well, but just because I am out of surgery does not mean I am out of the risk zone. I am focusing on nothing but -myself- right now, and I really don’t care if that seems greedy or selfish or “avoidant”.

This is one of the most “wtf” disparages I have ever been involved in. My entire character is being questioned and I am very disappointing to people now because of a damn unresponsive text message. I’m only out of surgery a few days and I get to deal with this first thing? I’m sorry, I don’t think so. I am not going to participate in this, and I know this post will piss those involved right off because this is about them, and not me. It’s not my intention to end a friendship or make people angry, but I’m going to express myself because I am now also pissed off. If other people can make posts about me and how much of an awful goddamn friend I am for not responding to their request to come visit quick enough, then I can to express exactly how I feel about the ripple of chaos that has now ensued because of that insecurity.

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Things I’m not worried about

Posted on November 1, 2010 by Girl with Guitar

To counter some of the things I was worried about in the last post, here are some things I’m NOT worried about.

Scars – I have so many scars being raised a farmer’s daughter, I really don’t care about scars. I like battle scars to be honest. I doubt any of the laproscopic holes are going to cause me any sort of worry at all.

Food – If I can get through the first month, I am going to be fine. There are a lot of good foods that I really enjoy that I’m going to be able to eat regularly (cheese being #1). I love eggs, I love meat, I love chocolate flavored things like the protein shakes, I loved sweet potatoes. I am really not concerned about food that much. If there are any concerns regarding food it would be not being able to eat as much bread and having to eat more veggies. But I’m going to be inventive with it. There are bariatric protein breads out there, and I betcha I can make my own protein bread with my protein powder and I love cheese in my bread for protein. There are also sugar-free chocolates that taste just as good as normal chocolates. The key is portion control, eating smart, and getting all the nutrients I need.

Perfect body – I’m really not all that concerned about having the perfect body. I don’t intend to wear a bikini or anything like that. If that happens, great. But I’m mostly concerned about being strong and healthy to take care of my dad. He’s one of the main reasons I had this surgery, and I want to be able to take care of everything that needs taken care of when he’s not able to anymore. That includes chopping -all- the wood, and all his other things he does during the day while I’m at work.

I also know that my sweetheart loves me just the way I am now, and he’ll love me just as much later. I do have guys hit on me now, so I know I’m capable of at least being somewhat cute now and I imagine I will still be cute later. I don’t want to attract the kind of guys that are looking for the perfect body, I really don’t. Heck I don’t want to date a guy that has the perfect body either, because then I’d have to deal with not only his conceited feelings, but feeling like competition for every girl that wants to go after him because he’s that way.

My sweetheart is all I’ve ever wanted, and there is no one that lights a candle to him. He is perfect for me, and I find every bit of him attractive and exactly what I want. That’s what love is, and that’s why I’m not worried about being a super model. I will fix a few things that need fixing, but I’m not worried about trying to be perfect.

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